27.12.06

holly golightly is much bigger than this in real life



she's so good for my post-christmas disorientation.

isn't it strange, that compulsion to keep shopping within the parentheses between thanksgiving and christmas, even if everyone on your list has been crossed off? that feeling that you should be buying something. it's very strong, and difficult to resist, and i've interviewed several of my friends about it who are NOT compulsive shoppers and they said the same thing.
i went to the grocery store today and walked around trying to put together some meals in my head, lightheaded and absent-minded, as if i'd lost a lot of blood. or had a very high fever that had broken in the middle of the night from some godawful illness no one thought i'd pull out of. the restaurant i work at kept leaving messages on my machine to see if i'd be willing to come in, but i was not willing at all.

i just want to listen listen listen. be sung to, reminded only of simple truths i've forgotten.

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